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Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay. “What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the. Only half the rockets had gone off at first, and when the others ignited, they’d changed the direction.We all watched in horror as the rocket crashed through the kitchen window. Everything might have been okay, but it got caught in the curtain, which burst into flames when all the firecrackers went off. The ‘four dumbasses,’ as my mom called us from that day forward, stood and watched in terror. Thankfully, Mom rushed in and used the sprayer from the kitchen sink to put the fire out.“I don’t know why he went to Wesleyan. It’s not like Mike will be his evil butt-buddy in crime. Mike can’t stand Alan,” Wolf said.That put a smile on my face. While I hadn’t had any contact with Mike since the Michigan football camp during the summer, I didn’t want to continue our feud. I figured if he was out of sight, out of mind; there was no need to worry about him at Wesleyan. Only Harper had been fooled. I couldn’t blame her. Mike was a good-looking guy and could be charming when he worked at it. I.
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